2 am outside twin donuts
2 a.m. waiting for a hot chocolate outside the plexiglass protection at the Twin Donuts. Two youths besides me, one clearly calming down the other. “i got so much anger in me, people talking about the shit they do in rap songs, I actually do all that shit. I terrorize people. I don’t know what i would do if you weren’t here.”
there was a girl in my college, a while back, who was just an arrogant, entitled brat. One day during art class, her hands, blackened by charcoal pencil had left markings on her porcelain white face. she was the beautiful girl I had ever seen.
we let the hands, disembodied embrace us. originating from a place just beyond comprehension. the strong grip holds steady, tethering us to the unknown. but we let it, because it feels warm, familiar. like home. these inky, black hands which have arms, arms that stretch backwards into a formless nothing. but we let them. what purpose does it serve, than to feel something, anything. a genuine...
there is no grand explanation, no time for apologies there is no reunion. there is no need for second hand venom. what words we can have with each other are lost to the darkening skies of time. do not mourn what is lost, let it become brittle and shatter upon the strength of the future. we have parted ways, and that is that. starting as strangers, and ending as strangers. square one. the world...
we sift through so many liars, fakers and thieves In our lives Our true self begins to erode, with every tiny contact, skin on skin flesh to flesh our bodies rub away onto the porcelain prosthesis that houses the fake ones. our good can be bruised, and our hearts can blacken but no one can lie worse to us, than ourselves. so in that, we can laugh, Laugh away at the phony masses that come in...
AND SO I DREAMT LAST NIGHT
of someone I haven’t spoken to in a long time. It felt like a burst of energy that strangled my lungs when she entered the room. Quite innocent in the beginning, we planted ourselves in the middle of a bed in a non-descript room. She held a VHS tape in her hand to play, we were an inch away from each other when she brushed her face towards me to start the movie. But I felt the cold-wetness...
" . . . and so she said, "what's worse? to be...
I applied the gentlest pressure to the palm of my hand, sinking you, slowly. the gulf between us, too wide for any words to be heard. the inaction, pulverizing my spirit. I was better than that. better than a curt reply. your hands snake about my ankle. dragging me down with you, but I don’t care. we submerge, our flesh underwater becoming a vibrating mirage. I try to laugh, but the sound...
cocoon of skin
to control your flesh and other dark thoughts that swim downstream from my mind. to press against you, the urgent heat and salt of us intertwine. to hear your ragged breath exit as a death rattle. your chin skyward, eyes masked by clenched lids. Your expression, an offering to the deities of consummation. Intertwined, gushing, age old and strenuous. you have cocooned me. i am your tool, a...
none of one.
I’m stuck inside the ribcage of an all encompassing monster. I see through its eyes, I taste through its mouth. A double set of teeth to satiate the double speak. I am one of two, none of one. I expelled myself from this creature once … But I sank slowly back into its frightening depths. A layer of skin, fat, bone tissue that feels like me but it is not me. I must carve my way out...
Prologue The rumble of track underneath did nothing to startle him from his daze. He stared at a vanishing point just beyond the metal framing above the train’s exit, stock still. His coal-gray Banana Republic sweater with black khaki pants gripped to his body like a fashion model. His face frozen, in a weird comical trance gained movement. The replay of the morning began to flicker in his...
ktn: a segment
“It’s done”, Marcus thought to himself, as he knelt before the aged bathtub. Edward’s rigid body lay immobile within, the first quart of blood escaping and pooling underneath. Marcus stared at the person, no, the husk that moments ago blubbered and stammered a pointless campaign for his life. The death of this thing, albeit in the back of his mind ever since he stepped foot into this apartment...
she called me an idiot. Ironically, I knew deep down, she was a moron. Vapid, empty, hollow shell of a deliciously sculptured goddess. We were made for each other like a bent key for a broken lock. I stared into her deep black eyes as she kept mouthing unintelligable words … my peace was diminished, I burst into flames.
The final insult flung, she spat venom into my ear through electric currents. Flustered, frustrated, beyond repair. I, monotone, defiantly replied “Don’t call me anymore.” Thinking I was bluffing, a tiny cackle crept into her words “Okay.” She smiled at the other end of the line, proud of not giving a shit. I ended the call on my cell shaking with a static fury. Two...
three hundred and sixty five days internal chaos, self destruction and self loathing. the faces that appeared and vanished in the blink of an eye. that eye punctured by the ugly sight of another world. darkness creeping in. spinning. funneled into a mutated keepsake. The snails pace of evolution. the stolen kisses that led no where. challenged libidos, justified the mistrust of others. the...
The rain sweeps across the highway outside of my window. the trailing sounds of heavy wheels discharging the water, a phantom moan of disappearing strangers. Into the darkness they vanish. It’s Christmas night, I have gorged. The addiction, compensating for what’s no longer here. The emptiness, the shadow play in my mind. It can’t be like this forever can it? My psyche tugging my...
there is a vortex that appears. past midnight. the sky will open, the black will swirl into a luminescent white. A great glowing eye from the heavens. the only way to see it, is to raise your hand, palm outward. flat. and slowly spread your fingers apart. can you see it? will you comprehend what it is, when you do? when your heart beat surges, and the calmness eventually overtakes. will you feel...
I recollected a moment, a long time ago. helping a friend who was staggering drunk, back home. feeling abject horror at her state. making sure she would be okay, as she went on to ignore me. the foolish rush of blood to the noggin’ smitten with something that wasn’t love, nor lust … but need. that phase had passed, we both had it out of our system. but care was still in my heart...